I've been taking more photographs again; everyday ones with my phone camera. It's my go-to connecter to the moment. My reminder to take in all the little things, my best hope of remembering any of it, and to just keep appreciating the minutes that we are afforded in each day. Again and again, and the wearing of the repeated days. The rhythms are so reliable they blur time as much as they provide stability and stave off chaos.
Like this day pictured below, where her legs suddenly grew a mile, and her skirt was way too shirt, and her shoes were way too grown up, and she was smiling on the swing like any other time when she was still just a babe.
And holy moly, the girl child just grows up so fast right before me and I ache for it all to slow down, as I find myself twirling the hair that is looping down out of her still-a-kid pigtails. And then the very next day, it's all straight and long and she looks way too many years older than her age.
But just the other evening, she still crawled all of her sprawling limbs into my lap to decompress and discuss her day. I know that I will not forever be this lucky to have such transparent access to the inner workings of her days and thoughts and feelings, yet I know she already keeps so much in her head and heart that I can never fully know. That mystery of person-hood. As much as we share.
She wakes up a little girl, and by afternoon she seems a teenager. Occasional moments I watch this fluctuation within minutes and hours. This babe. This grown girl. This babe. This girl becoming woman.
This good friend, and deep thinker. This silly girl so bent on being so serious and all grown up. And her smile that sneaks across her face on occasion, such unsuspected and overflowing joy. That look that reminds me she is still a child.
These tiny moments where she'll still play with her doll, but then at the same time she'll be tenaciously practicing her flute, mastering another song, holding her notes longer and taking fewer breaths.
So fast and relentless is time, but slowed by day with waiting and so many little joys of dreams [even tiny ones like owning your very own copy of Anne of Green Gables] coming true and lessons being learned along the way of grace, and generosity, and service.
Lessons we all get to practice and learn together. Again and again and again in every minute we are afforded, all stacked up neatly into years on top of years.